So I uprooted my entire life, hopped on a 6am flight to Orlando, Florida, and kissed the concrete of New York goodbye. Surprisingly no tears were shed, no plea with God to keep my feet anchored to the ground, no begging for divine intervention to block this plane from taking off, I exhaled- and I flew away.

As a millenial there seems to be two routes at our disposal, the first being the expected outcome- our dream job waiting for us at the end of our grossum undergrad years, the light at the end of our academic tunnel. The second is a windy road, one that I have come to know quite well, one that can be just as nauseating as exhilarating depending on the day, depending on the season, depending on the timing. While there have been plenty of nights where I cursed the ground I stood on, prayed for clarity and a short cut to my final destination I found myself grateful for the turns, seeing or learning something that would have never been on my heart to seek if it wasn’t for the detour, if it wasn’t for a misstep from the straight and narrow.

As an artist, you’d think it’d be intuitive to know that chaos has a silver lining, a luster, a beauty beneath the madness. You’d think I’d grow accustomed to the pain that so often goes hand in hand with creation, the confusion that forces you to create a masterpiece just for the sake of expression- just so you don’t lose your mind. Sadly, no matter how predictable the ending appears and the vastness of the reward, the anxiety is just as real. Just as tangible, just as potent. 

My time in New York was spent trembling, questioning if passion would sustain me, questioning if doing without was the exchange for picking what I love over convenience, over temporary, over easy. On days it seemed like I had lost my mind, that logic was beside me I held on to a promise, a whisper of purpose from the mouth of God. 

What if i trusted God that this will work just like everything has prior, just how every other situation has played out on my behalf before. What if my lack of fear wasn’t a disconnect but a realization of who I serve, an understanding that what is meant for me can’t be blocked, or stolen, or given away. What if, all he was waiting for me to do this time was to go- without question, without doubt, without fear of failure. What if my greatest opportunity lies outside of the box I etched my initials in, put up shop in, insisted that I called home. What if, my freedom is on the other side?

Nothing divine, comes easy. 

Nothing ordained comes without interference from the enemy

Nothing God calls blessed can be tainted

Wherever I am going, wherever this is taking me- it is already beautiful. And I am already prepared.